I have a lot of male friends. In high school I mostly hung out with an all male crowd - we played touch football and cards, hung out at fast food restaurants and - occasionally talked about girls. I guess they talked about girls around me because I wasn't really a girl per se. I didn't play the girl games on them that a lot of the other girls played and we didn't want to go out with each other. I think I just wanted good mates that didn't just talk about shopping and boys - and didn't giggle a lot.
They're some of my best friends now and yeah they tell me their girl troubles. Actually it's more like:
"Paige you have to help me find a hot chick."
"She has a boyfriend already and she doesn't want to mess around. What do I do?"
Now, some girls might be appalled at what these guys are saying. To me they're not disrespectful or assholes, they're just my friends and we joke around - and they really are really nice guys.
But then again, I've never hooked them up with anyone.
That's the thing, when it comes to what women want, I know these guys too well to feel like I can conscionably recommend them as partners. Meanwhile, I think guys do the same thing in that they won't refer their friends to date their sisters.
Who are you loyal to - your friends or your sex? Are guys really different in front of other guys away from the girls?
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Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The wedding
So I guess it happens at some point in every girl's life - no not THE wedding - I'm talking about the other wedding, the one where you're the bridesmaid.
In this day and age, can any girl ever get out of being a bridesmaid? Is it really like 27 dresses where you end up with a whole wardrobe of dresses you've only worn once?
I'm making the big walk down the aisle next year - and I've been told I'll be wearing...green. Yep. I have no comment.
And if rom-coms are right I'll spend the coming months dealing with bridezilla...she is getting quite involved with all the planning already as is the groom. It's like they suddenly have no more hobbies and the wedding is still 9 months out. And if rom-coms are right, I'll spend the time being really happy for her while I secretly wish that it was me...
I guess the thing with weddings is that they're symbolic, they mean something to the bride, groom, the parental groups - and we all respect that and celebrate it with them because it's important to them - unlike in the past when a marriage meant the survival of the village.
And while they mean something special to the wedding parties - I guess they mean something to us all individually as well. We find ourselves contemplating the future, the present and the past, wondering how we have arrived at this point right now, and where we are headed.
So here's to that first walk down the aisle. I'll be the one thinking deep drunk thoughts - dressed in green.
What do weddings mean to you? Can a girl go through her life and NEVER be a bridesmaid?
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In this day and age, can any girl ever get out of being a bridesmaid? Is it really like 27 dresses where you end up with a whole wardrobe of dresses you've only worn once?
I'm making the big walk down the aisle next year - and I've been told I'll be wearing...green. Yep. I have no comment.
And if rom-coms are right I'll spend the coming months dealing with bridezilla...she is getting quite involved with all the planning already as is the groom. It's like they suddenly have no more hobbies and the wedding is still 9 months out. And if rom-coms are right, I'll spend the time being really happy for her while I secretly wish that it was me...
I guess the thing with weddings is that they're symbolic, they mean something to the bride, groom, the parental groups - and we all respect that and celebrate it with them because it's important to them - unlike in the past when a marriage meant the survival of the village.
And while they mean something special to the wedding parties - I guess they mean something to us all individually as well. We find ourselves contemplating the future, the present and the past, wondering how we have arrived at this point right now, and where we are headed.
So here's to that first walk down the aisle. I'll be the one thinking deep drunk thoughts - dressed in green.
What do weddings mean to you? Can a girl go through her life and NEVER be a bridesmaid?
Sent via BlackBerry® from Vodafone
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Can We Speak Up? - Empowered Women Working
I've been neglecting this blog for quite a bit but it seemed as good a place as any to write down something that has been a real issue (one of the reasons that I started this blog in the first place)
In August 2009, I quit my old job. It was as the Online Editor of a cute small and on the surface, entirely likeable company. It flogged cute, good quality magazines on a socially important issue and was really on the surface - supposed to make a difference to the world and make everyone's lives a little better.
This cute small and likeable company didn't pay me for about a month. It didn't pay my superannuation for more than a year. That's about $7,500 maybe more if you think about interest - that's a lot for a girl in her twenties.
It owes my colleagues (at least 4 or 5 of them) the same amount of money if not more.
The thing is that it was run by a hot, blonde, smart and on the surface entirely likeable and empowered woman. Her first cute small and likeable company went bankrupt and then restarted itself under the guise of a "different" company...that is owned by the 22 year old BROTHER of the woman...but she still holds the reins and runs the place. (I'm pretty sure that's illegal) This "different" company has continued to be operated in the same manner of the first business that owes me money...and is now racking up more debt to co-workers of mine that have believed that they will recoup the money that they are owed...
And none of us have seen a dime.
And the worse part is, it is modern times that lets her get away with it. As a woman with a vision, people respect her. Wow - she started her own business that seems to have taken off. But then the number of times she's played dumb, flirted - maybe slept with people - to get out of trouble with the ATO, the creditors, the employees she owes money. Her crazy excuse for running her company into the ground? Bad employees (that she never paid) and "She didn't know".
If she was male - people would expect more from her.
For the rest of us, when do we get to speak out against then??? When do we get to say that wasn't right? When do we get to say a company...no matter cause and mission..can't do this to us? When do we get to say "no fucking way"?
She really does give the empowered business woman a bad name. :(
Have you been ripped off by a so called empowered woman? In what ways does society make it easier or harder for women in business?
In August 2009, I quit my old job. It was as the Online Editor of a cute small and on the surface, entirely likeable company. It flogged cute, good quality magazines on a socially important issue and was really on the surface - supposed to make a difference to the world and make everyone's lives a little better.
This cute small and likeable company didn't pay me for about a month. It didn't pay my superannuation for more than a year. That's about $7,500 maybe more if you think about interest - that's a lot for a girl in her twenties.
It owes my colleagues (at least 4 or 5 of them) the same amount of money if not more.
The thing is that it was run by a hot, blonde, smart and on the surface entirely likeable and empowered woman. Her first cute small and likeable company went bankrupt and then restarted itself under the guise of a "different" company...that is owned by the 22 year old BROTHER of the woman...but she still holds the reins and runs the place. (I'm pretty sure that's illegal) This "different" company has continued to be operated in the same manner of the first business that owes me money...and is now racking up more debt to co-workers of mine that have believed that they will recoup the money that they are owed...
And none of us have seen a dime.
And the worse part is, it is modern times that lets her get away with it. As a woman with a vision, people respect her. Wow - she started her own business that seems to have taken off. But then the number of times she's played dumb, flirted - maybe slept with people - to get out of trouble with the ATO, the creditors, the employees she owes money. Her crazy excuse for running her company into the ground? Bad employees (that she never paid) and "She didn't know".
If she was male - people would expect more from her.
For the rest of us, when do we get to speak out against then??? When do we get to say that wasn't right? When do we get to say a company...no matter cause and mission..can't do this to us? When do we get to say "no fucking way"?
She really does give the empowered business woman a bad name. :(
Have you been ripped off by a so called empowered woman? In what ways does society make it easier or harder for women in business?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
On Saying I love you...
I've been in a happy relationship for 16 months. We get along great, have lots of similar interests and ideas and the sex is good.
We haven't said "I love you" yet.
No wait, that's not true. I said it to him - once...sort of. I was looking for an updated version of MS Office as mine had stopped working and my boyfriend thankfully said he had one and could lend it to me. I wrote him a text message back that said "I love you! ill come pick it up tonight!"
So yeah, I've said it once.
A good girl friend of mine thinks I'm insane. And every time I talk to her, I start to think the same thing. "You haven't talked about the future? Are you guys going to move in together? Do you LOVE him?" she fires questions at me over lattes and cappucinos. Actually, those are for me - as she doesn't drink coffee. I need to caffeine to keep up with the rapid train of thought without getting spun out.
Traditionally, polls suggest that both women and men think 6 months is a good length of time in a relationship to utter those little words. Of course, this varies from relationship to relationship, with reality TV celebrities of the likes of Khloe Kardashian declaring her undying love for Lamar Odom and taking the all important plunge after just 4 weeks of dating.
As for my good friend, her last relationship last about 3 months and she swears she was in love with him. But she'd also said she felt weird saying it and told him in French, which he understood. I think they broke up not too long after that.
The thing is, I'm in no hurry to declare my devotion with words like "I love you" or "you're my everything" or "I want to marry you". I mean, history is a good indication of how futile those words can be.
Of the past 8 real relationships that I've had in my young life, in lengths ranging from 2 months (with some being long distance) to 2.5 years, the rundown on love was:
-3 mutual "I love yous" said between both parties. All 3 ended badly.
-1 "I love you" only from the male party. Ended but not quite as badly.
-1 "I love you" only from the female party (I hadn't even been conscious I said it and fortunately he pretended not to hear). We're actually pretty good friends.
-2 non "I love yous" - both ended with a mutual understanding/indifference to not speak to each other.
Anyway, I reckon that it doesn't really matter if you say it or don't say it, as none of these past relationships worked. I said the words - or didn't say the words - for a number of reasons. And the thing is, I felt really different about all of these men, but in some way or another, it could or could not be construed as love. But when you say the words out loud, does that difference get communicated? Or is it just an all-in-one package?
So where does that leave me now? Sixteen months and no I love you. And generally, I'm pretty sure I'm okay with it. Cause I feel different about this guy, and it's good. Is it
love? Shrug who knows.
I guess I can always ponder it over a cappucino.
What are your thoughts? How long do you date before you say I love you? What's the shortest or longest time before it HAS to be said?
We haven't said "I love you" yet.
No wait, that's not true. I said it to him - once...sort of. I was looking for an updated version of MS Office as mine had stopped working and my boyfriend thankfully said he had one and could lend it to me. I wrote him a text message back that said "I love you! ill come pick it up tonight!"
So yeah, I've said it once.
A good girl friend of mine thinks I'm insane. And every time I talk to her, I start to think the same thing. "You haven't talked about the future? Are you guys going to move in together? Do you LOVE him?" she fires questions at me over lattes and cappucinos. Actually, those are for me - as she doesn't drink coffee. I need to caffeine to keep up with the rapid train of thought without getting spun out.
Traditionally, polls suggest that both women and men think 6 months is a good length of time in a relationship to utter those little words. Of course, this varies from relationship to relationship, with reality TV celebrities of the likes of Khloe Kardashian declaring her undying love for Lamar Odom and taking the all important plunge after just 4 weeks of dating.
As for my good friend, her last relationship last about 3 months and she swears she was in love with him. But she'd also said she felt weird saying it and told him in French, which he understood. I think they broke up not too long after that.
The thing is, I'm in no hurry to declare my devotion with words like "I love you" or "you're my everything" or "I want to marry you". I mean, history is a good indication of how futile those words can be.
Of the past 8 real relationships that I've had in my young life, in lengths ranging from 2 months (with some being long distance) to 2.5 years, the rundown on love was:
-3 mutual "I love yous" said between both parties. All 3 ended badly.
-1 "I love you" only from the male party. Ended but not quite as badly.
-1 "I love you" only from the female party (I hadn't even been conscious I said it and fortunately he pretended not to hear). We're actually pretty good friends.
-2 non "I love yous" - both ended with a mutual understanding/indifference to not speak to each other.
Anyway, I reckon that it doesn't really matter if you say it or don't say it, as none of these past relationships worked. I said the words - or didn't say the words - for a number of reasons. And the thing is, I felt really different about all of these men, but in some way or another, it could or could not be construed as love. But when you say the words out loud, does that difference get communicated? Or is it just an all-in-one package?
So where does that leave me now? Sixteen months and no I love you. And generally, I'm pretty sure I'm okay with it. Cause I feel different about this guy, and it's good. Is it
love? Shrug who knows.
I guess I can always ponder it over a cappucino.
What are your thoughts? How long do you date before you say I love you? What's the shortest or longest time before it HAS to be said?
Monday, September 7, 2009
Lost in Space
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but where does that put the rest of us?
I think almost every modern woman and man has at some point in their busy lives, looked up from their computer screens, Blackberries and iPods to ponder "mating". We are after all still animals by nature, driven by some innate desire to propagate our species - even though human beings really are in no danger of becoming sparse in its numbers anytime soon.
Today's modern society has really put quite a spin on the whole process. There are movies, books, DVDs, blogs, dating websites - not to mention your best friend dispensing his or her sage wisdom on conquering the opposite sex whether it be for the night or for a married eternity.
"Men and women are just built differently," a good girlfriend tells me. "Men just don't get us. They can't, they're just...different. You know, like men are from Mars, women are from Venus."
So I'm supposed to be a Venutian, which in today's modern era, from what I sometimes gather means:
- I, as the amazing modern superwoman, am supposed to be confident, sexy, independent, strong, sensitive and overall amazingly awesome.
- So much so that men should feel privileged to be in my company and buy me dinner, lavish me with presents, open doors, care and provide for my awesome sexy independence.
- If they don't do the things above, then it's because I'm always falling for the bad boys and losers who don't treat me right for the awesomeness that I am...or they have commitment problems.
- In which case it's better for me to stay single for life than to settle for second best because I am amazing sexy confident and independent.
- Or at least until I hit the "big 3-0" or "3-5" or the ever dreaded "3-7.699"... in which case all bets are off...and my sexy awesome independent self becomes lonely and desperate
- And I will suddenly only be surrounded by married, taken and gay men...
???
Somebody get me a map....I think I took a wrong term around the Milky Way...
I think almost every modern woman and man has at some point in their busy lives, looked up from their computer screens, Blackberries and iPods to ponder "mating". We are after all still animals by nature, driven by some innate desire to propagate our species - even though human beings really are in no danger of becoming sparse in its numbers anytime soon.
Today's modern society has really put quite a spin on the whole process. There are movies, books, DVDs, blogs, dating websites - not to mention your best friend dispensing his or her sage wisdom on conquering the opposite sex whether it be for the night or for a married eternity.
"Men and women are just built differently," a good girlfriend tells me. "Men just don't get us. They can't, they're just...different. You know, like men are from Mars, women are from Venus."
So I'm supposed to be a Venutian, which in today's modern era, from what I sometimes gather means:
- I, as the amazing modern superwoman, am supposed to be confident, sexy, independent, strong, sensitive and overall amazingly awesome.
- So much so that men should feel privileged to be in my company and buy me dinner, lavish me with presents, open doors, care and provide for my awesome sexy independence.
- If they don't do the things above, then it's because I'm always falling for the bad boys and losers who don't treat me right for the awesomeness that I am...or they have commitment problems.
- In which case it's better for me to stay single for life than to settle for second best because I am amazing sexy confident and independent.
- Or at least until I hit the "big 3-0" or "3-5" or the ever dreaded "3-7.699"... in which case all bets are off...and my sexy awesome independent self becomes lonely and desperate
- And I will suddenly only be surrounded by married, taken and gay men...
???
Somebody get me a map....I think I took a wrong term around the Milky Way...
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